So, here's the thing.

I fucking love Bakery AUs.

This is awkward for a number of reasons, one being that I don't eat, y'know, anything you could make in a bakery. I don't even like bread. Seriously, I buy that unnaturally thin stuff so when I make sandwiches there will be even less bread involved. I also can't actually remember the last time I walked into a bakery. It probably wasn't willingly. So I have like zero experience with bakeries and their general foodstuffs, and I don't, as a rule, like the things they produce. And, yet, I love Bakery AUs.

The real problem with this is that I want to write a Bakery AU. Specifically I want to write a Sherlock/John Bakery AU. But a) I know nothing about bakeries, including what happens in them day to day and b) I don't know how to bake shit, and I figure professional baking is not something you can just fake (I mean, I guess I could try, but that'd add another level of ignorance on top of an American writing in a British fandom, and, yeah, I'd rather not) and c) I have no fucking clue how either John or Sherlock would wind up owning a bakery. The closest I could work it towards making sense is Harry owning the bakery. An alcoholic baker. That bakery would clearly be a raging success. Plus John doesn't, y'know, willingly entangle himself with Harry. SO BASICALLY I CAN'T MAKE IT WORK EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO.

That is my sad story for the day. I am sorry for the like minute you lost reading that.